Turning A Quarter Century
25 things on my 25th birthday 🎉
Guess whose birthday is approaching? Yes, you guessed correctly; Your Fayvorite girl. #blushing
I will always enjoy birthdays as if I am obsessed with them. It makes me really happy. If you have been around me recently, you will understand how I talk and dance about my birthday. I say something like, "Hi, Happy my Birth-month”, "My Birthday on Wednesday '' and do my distinctive dance (hands on my forehead while I move my body). Birthdays bring out my inner-child which I enjoy.
I was born on April 10th, 1999. Yeah! It feels surreal that I'm turning 25!! Me, like this? It's quite unbelievable. When I tell people my age, they often tell me that I don't seem to be as old as I am. A friend stated I'm aging slowly, which I love. Sailing into 25 in an eighteen-year-old body. #MustBenice
There's something about this new age that makes me feel both old and young at the same time. And then there's this sense of approaching doom—maybe because it implies the excuse "I'm still a young girl just out of school who doesn't know what she's doing; who doesn't even have sense" is no longer valid.
If you are above 25, you are probably rolling your eyes, thinking how young I am and how little I know, and believe me, I agree with you. But this is the first birthday that got me feeling like a true grownup human; that my decisions count more, that the stakes are somewhat higher, and yet that I'm kind of completely freaking out. If you are from an African home, you should be able to relate to this.
I do know that so much of my life is before me and that so much is still possible. The best is yet to come.
My birthday is on the 10th, so today isn't quite my birthday, but it's close enough. I believe that this week's letter is an excellent opportunity to reflect on life. So I will be sharing 25 things, not just lessons I've learned or things I've accomplished, but a mix of everything. So, here's my tiny list.
PS: If I say 'You' in this list, please know that I'm talking to me more than I am ever talking to anyone else. #Capiche?
1. Decide how you feel about yourself: Once you decide how you feel about yourself in any aspect, someone else's opinion doesn't affect you at the least.
2. Do not compare yourself with others; it's a trap of perception, judgment, and often not knowing the full story - full story in the sense that you don't know what the people you're trying to compare yourself with are dealing with or what is going on with them.
3. I will tell you to put everything into yourself- work on yourself like crazy. Try again and as many times as possible.
4. God satisfies the soul; it is only in Christ that you can feel complete.
5. Stop robbing yourself of your own life-it's a crime!! Denying yourself potential moments of joy or happiness, breaking friendships or relationships that are worth it and pure because you are afraid of what something might look like, what people might think, or what might go wrong, is simply never worth it.
6. Some people probably hate you; for years, you've been trying to tell yourself the opposite. No one actually hates you; stop worrying, blah, blah, blah. But you know? Some people probably do. But who cares?? You could be the juiciest peach in the world, and all that. You have so many people in your life who like you, know you, and understand you. Why spend time worrying about anything else?
7. No one is talking about you; stop worrying about what people are saying. Make sure that what you say about yourself has the biggest impact on your life.
8. Yam is one of the best things in the world! How can a human hate Yam?? If you do, please blink twice; I'll send help your way #wink.
9. Writing is your greatest expression. You just have to do it consistently, and when you do, you feel like yourself. It doesn't become a looming, impossible monster of a thing, but the way you exist in the world. It's a gift!
10. Forgive your parents - they didn't know any better. Like a friend of mine will say, “there are no guidelines or handbooks to parenting”. So forgive them.
11. People grow apart for so many reasons: You will let some people go and vice versa; the earlier you accept it, the better. But know when to let go.
12. Your side of the story doesn't matter anymore; life happened—it hurt, you healed, but most importantly, you learned who deserves a seat at your table and who will never sit at it again.
13. Become immune to external validation: praises and compliments fueled my sense of worth and value and defined me as a person. Just so you know, praise and criticism are two sides of the same coin. If I allowed their compliments to fill me up, by default, I had to allow their criticism to tear me down. At a point, the nice words filled me up less, to the point where I couldn't believe them. And the criticism tore me down more, to the point where I deeply internalized it. The trade-off was killing me. So I'm here to tell you that it's your responsibility to feel good about yourself. Things in the world were not made to make you feel good about yourself. So your self-worth should not be affected by external influences. For just existing, you are worthy!
14. It is quite hard to find people who are passionate about building with you. When you find them, don't take them for granted, and don't jeopardize the relationship!
15. Don't chase love and relationships; as love is a part of your life and not your whole life. Focus more on your career and aspirations; focus more on loving yourself; and at the right time, love will find you.
16. Be exclusive with your energy. Some people come into your life to just take out from you. One little thing can affect your whole day—and much more your life. So not everyone deserves the healed version of you! Be picky and careful with who you choose to share your life with.
17. Don't settle- You are a Enough, and God is transforming you. Just as long as you are sure about who you are and the power of your presence, you won't just be with anybody! Do not carry all the work that God has and will do in you and be with someone who doesn't know what to do with it, who does not know what to do with you, and who cannot pour into you as God would want. Do not set yourself up to starve!
18. Do not romanticize suffering, pain, or heartbreak. There is nothing poetic about a love that breaks your spirit. You need to learn to move on, let certain things go, burn some bridges, and use that light to find a better way.
19. Men will always know what they are doing. A man who wants you will never make you feel confused.
20. Someone just has to mean enough to you before you shower excess love on them.
21. You will definitely be judged and talked about; your life will definitely be looked at before you tell people anything. But how you handle yourself says everything one needs to know.
22. Be kind to yourself; the most important story is the one you tell about yourself. Your thoughts can make you sick, but they can heal you. Say and think nice things about yourself.
23. Feelings and emotions are not weaknesses. They are valid.
24. The Internet is actively making you hate yourself. It really is! It is making you sad, and it is making you anxious. It is making you hate yourself even while you use it to show everyone else how wonderful your life is. The sooner you actually accept that, the sooner you can be more particular about the way you use it.
25. Just do all the things that makes you happy—all of them—because maybe that's why we are here: to live our best and love the people that love us.
Cheers to Twenty-Fine 🥂
Save the date, so you don't forget,(10th April). Call me that day, text me, send me cute and sweet messages and Pray for me.
Oh you thought I'll just end it without asking for money? Lmao. Send funds, biko. Sow a seed in my life. So you can say you supported me when I had nothing.🙏😂
Birthday Wishlist
Subscribe to my Newsletter.
Refer to number 1 and share my link. I'm aiming at 1k subscribers before the end of this month. You can help me achieve that.
A Laptop
A New phone (iPhone precisely)
Send me Money 💰💰
Send more Money 💰💰
Details:
Access Bank: 0091956917
Palmpay: 9550470082
Name: Fidelis Favour R.
And lastly, if your birthday falls on this day, week or month, Happy Birthday. Wish you heaven's best!
Till I write to you again.
Please share your best life advice in comments for someone younger. Also, I want to read and learn from you.
Love and Light,
Fayvourebirth.
Happy birthday in advance ore!
Happy Birthday In Advance Mia 🥰