Let's Talk Friendship

Everything you need to know

Photo by Hannah Rodrigo on Unsplash

I've been meaning to write about friendship for the longest time. It’s such a huge part of our lives, yet somehow, putting it into words feels nearly impossible. As I worked on this piece, I went through a rollercoaster of emotions—maybe that’s why it took me so long to finish. It hasn’t been easy to write, but I hope that when you read it, you find something that resonates, something that feels real and meaningful.

Friendship is one of the most profound aspects of life, yet there are no formal courses on how to be a good friend. Instead, we learn along the way—through experiences, heartbreaks, laughter, and the quiet understanding that someone is truly there for us.

I’ve always been a friendly person. I love meeting people, offering help—whether emotional support or something tangible—and simply being there for others. I pride myself on being a great listener, someone people can rely on. Sometimes, I extend that same warmth even to strangers. Sometimes, I feel like helping others is what I was created to do. Yet, friendship is more than just showing up for others. It’s about understanding boundaries, knowing when to give and when to step back, and finding a balance between selflessness and self-preservation.

Friendship often feels easy in the beginning—like it will always be that way. But as we grow, life shifts. Our interests change, our priorities evolve, and sometimes, we quietly drift from the people we once held close. A new city, a new job, a new chapter—suddenly, maintaining deep connections isn’t as effortless as it once was.

Life gets busy. Responsibilities pile up. Personal struggles take center stage. We don’t always mean to, but we let friendships fall to the background. Feelings get hurt, expectations go unmet, misunderstandings build. We say things we shouldn’t, or maybe we say nothing at all and regret it later. Some friendships fade so gradually that we don’t even realize they’re gone until one day, we do.

But true friendship isn’t about never struggling—it’s about how we navigate those struggles. The ones that last are built on trust, patience, and the willingness to forgive. And even then, some friendships run their course. That doesn’t mean they failed. It just means they changed, the way life always does.

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

Friendship has always been a complicated thing for me to define. I tend to romanticize it, see it as something almost sacred, and sometimes hold on a little too tightly. To me, friendship isn’t just about companionship—it’s family, love, loyalty, and deep connection all rolled into one. Because of that, I don’t know how to be half-in. I don’t know how to give just a little or expect only the bare minimum. When I let someone in, I give them everything—every key, every open door—hoping they’ll do the same.

I pick up on the smallest things—the shift in someone’s tone, a message left unanswered, a moment that makes me feel like I wasn’t a priority. And I feel it, deeply. But I won’t say anything. Instead, I’ll sit with it, overanalyze it, tell myself I’m being too sensitive. Eventually, I’ll convince myself it’s nothing, push the feeling aside, and act like everything is fine. You might never know I was hurt, because even when I’m frustrated, I care too much to let it come between us.

I used to think I had to be friends with everyone—that every connection had the potential to turn into something deep and meaningful. And when friendships faded, I took it personally.

What did I do wrong?
Was I not a good enough friend?
Should I have tried harder?

I’d replay moments in my head, searching for where things went wrong. But over time, I realized that not every friendship is meant to last forever—and that’s okay. Letting go of that pressure was freeing.

I also had to face a hard truth: sometimes, I’ve been the difficult friend. I’ve never been great at asking for help. I’m the friend who listens, who gives, who shows up—but I rarely let others do the same for me. I didn’t realize how exhausting that could be until my friends pointed it out. Friendship isn’t just about being there for others; it’s about allowing others to be there for you, too.

So, I’m learning. Learning to open up, to let my friends see me in my messy moments, to trust that I don’t always have to be the strong one. And I’m realizing that true friendship isn’t about keeping score—it’s about showing up for each other, in whatever way we can.

If you asked me whether I’m a good friend, I’d probably hesitate. Not because I don’t care, but because I’m not sure. I’ve poured so much of myself into friendships—sometimes too much. I’ve stretched myself thin, given more than I should have, and when it wasn’t returned, I learned the hard way to pull back.

I’ve always been the one to bring people together, the one who builds bridges. My mother has watched me do it for years. She sees when friendships aren’t balanced, and she worries for me. She reminds me that I give without expecting anything in return—that I support every friend’s business, volunteer my skills, and show up in ways that aren’t always reciprocated.

I’ve learned. Learned that friendships, like all relationships, need balance. Learned to step back without guilt. And you know what? The real friends—the ones who truly see me—have stayed.

The truth is, love is rarely equal in any relationship. One person will always give more, care more, feel more deeply. And that’s okay. Not everything has to be perfectly balanced. But I’ve also realized that love, in any form, should be given freely—not demanded, not measured, not extracted.

If you’re like me—someone who pours wholeheartedly—then pour. Love is yours to give, and giving is an honor.

That’s why I move on without regrets. I love fiercely, without hesitation, until the well runs dry. And when it does, I let go. Like a fire without wood, it naturally fades.

Oremi Elizabeth

Female friendships can be complicated, but when you find the right ones, they’re a safe haven—a space where you can be wholly, unapologetically yourself. I cherish them deeply.

I still don’t know if I’m a good friend. But I know I am a loyal one. I will listen. I will hold space. I will sit with you in silence when words won’t do, offer warm comfort when the world feels cold. I won’t lose myself trying to be everything to everyone, but I will always pull my weight where it matters. And for me, that’s enough.

I’ll always share my candid thoughts—my questions, my doubts, my messy, ever-changing understanding of life and love. I will keep trying to be better, to grow through each season. And in the end, I hope my presence in my friends’ lives—past, present, and future—leaves something good behind.

The Effort Behind Good Friendships

Great friendships don’t just happen—they take time, effort, and a little bit of luck. Some unfold naturally, slipping into place as if they were always meant to be, while others require care and intention to truly grow. And then, there are the rare, magical ones—the friendships that appear out of nowhere and change everything.

Some friendships feel inevitable, like you were always meant to be in each other’s lives. Others are more forced—relationships we try to maintain out of obligation rather than genuine connection. But real friendship? It’s built on trust, mutual respect, and the courage to be vulnerable.

True friends do more than just share good times with us. They challenge us, support us, and help us become better versions of ourselves. They sit with us in our struggles, remind us of who we are when we lose sight of it, and—perhaps most importantly—make it safe for us to be fully, unapologetically ourselves.

I’m flawed, yes. But my love for my friends is fierce and raw. If you can handle my chaos, I promise you’ll never feel alone.

Still, I will be the best friend you’ll ever have. I will care for you relentlessly, celebrate your victories louder than you do, and sit with you in your darkest moments without judgment. I’ll remember the tiny details. I’ll fight for you, with you, and even against you if it means helping you see what you can’t.

I’ve learned to treat friendship as an investment—one that requires reciprocity and care. I cherish the invitations, check-ins, and moments of thoughtfulness. I’ve come to understand that the right friendships feel like home—effortless, safe, and nourishing. The wrong ones, however, drain me. And I’m learning to tell the difference.

At the end of the day, I breathe. I move forward. I embrace the new experiences waiting for me.

The evening is quiet, the kind that wraps around you like a warm blanket. And in this moment, I feel nothing but gratitude—for my life, my family, the resilience that carries me through. For the friends who have been my light when everything felt dark. For the comfort of home, the love that fills me up, and the wisdom that reminds me of who I am.

I can only keep trying to be better. And that is enough.

Kiss for reading till the end

Dearest Person of my Laive, Thank you for taking the time to read and journey through my thoughts with me. It means more than you know. I’m so grateful for your presence here, for sharing in this heartfelt conversation.

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Fayvourebirth.